Lily's Senior year
by MissMoonWillow
Summary: It's the last year of High School, Will Lillian Carlin be able to go to College, can Lincoln understand her choice, how much can unfold in a year....
1. Chapter 1

**Author's: **I Am making this fan fiction for fun, as I have had Lily's Senior year of high school stuck in my head, and Really needed to get it out of my brain onto this site.... Please Remember to review and favourite  
XoXo  
Emy

* * *

**Chapter one**

_Last day of summer…_

"I'm going to focus this year, I spent most of last year getting my GPA to a decent passing grade, plus I've promise Abigail I'd apply to ten colleges…" I spoke carefully down the phone twiddling the cord around my finger; I glanced out the window of my bed room. It was summer coming to a close, and a lot had happened since I'd last left my story, so I was in a relationship with Lincoln Burrows. My dead father, may he rot in hell, left me parentless, I was living with Sally, Lincoln and Michael's foster mother, until the social services found out about mine and Lincoln's relationship, so now I was placed with my own foster parent named Abigail White. She was cool, but then again she was like a mini Hitler, Seriously the woman was four foot tall, with big Jew fro. Mostly the fact she wasn't even Jewish.

"Come on Lil, it's the last days of summer vacation, we need to seal it right, plus I'll promise to get you home before curfew." Lincoln's voice was smooth, it was still weird for me to be his girlfriend, we've been a known 'couple' for about four months now, not like I am keeping track of the days. I glanced to my calendar, but laughed. I'd loved the summer; I'd spent most of it having a good time. In my new room it wasn't as big as my old bedroom, but I loved how Abigail let me decorate it to my taste, I'd even had a bulletin board of all my favourite photos of my friends.

"Linc, fine," I glanced back to my bedroom door, I could always hear when Abigail was walking up the stairs, she made it clean the walls were thin. "But remember, I am serious about the change, less partying, more studying…" I said into the phone before glancing out the window, my favourite place of my bedroom was my window seat, one place I loved talking to Lincoln on the phone looking out into the night sky.

"Lillian, you better be getting ready for bed!" Abigail's voice was heard from the other side of the door; I placed my hand over the receiver.

"Yes I'm just wrapping up this phone call, brushing my teeth, and then sleeping!" I called back to her, I could hear the silence, and then she walked away shutting her own bedroom door.

"Well that's cool, I'll pick you at twelve ok." Lincoln spoke carefully through the line, and I now giggled, it was nice to see him, but I glanced to the college applications on my desk. I look to the names, and wondered how I was going to tell him where I wanted to go. "Lil, are you ok Lil?" he added while I snapped back into the conversation.

"I'm fine just tired from church camp…" I replied another thing about Abigail, she was taking my latest offence serious, I was arrested for drunken and disorderly, so I was made to take up volunteer work, and one of them was a children summer camp where I spend most the last two weeks being a camp counsellor.

"Oh yeah, didn't you hook up while you were there!" Lincoln laughed as I rolled my eyes, the one thing about me and Lincoln was he knew how I felt about him.

I curled the cord around my finger more before glancing to the door, "Oh yeah Linc I hooked up with tones of girls…" I laughed while I heard him choke out a laugh, also the fact that Veronica was also a camp counsellor as well. "Linc I missed you everyday, I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled to myself feeling my finger going white from twirling the phone cord so tightly.

"Lil, I love you babe." Lincoln's voice soft sending shivers through me, and I now let the cord go as I let out a sigh.

"I love you too." I hung up the phone placing it back on my desk, looking into my full length mirror, going over myself, I was still the same five foot three, and I wasn't going to be getting any taller. My long blonde hair was ashy waving down my back; I glanced over my green eyes staring back at me.

"Lillian are you still up, you need to be in bed!" Abigail called through the door making me jump, I picked up a hair brush going through my hair before glancing at the over size t-shirt of Lincoln's I wore as a night shirt, and his boxer I kept.

"I'm just getting ready now, night Abbie…" I called, placing the brush down and walking to my bed, I took a deep breath before getting into the covers, I turned the light off before cuddling into myself falling to sleep.

* * *

Buzz, Buzz. My alarm snapped me out of my dream as I rolled over on the bed smacking the snooze button again, it was Saturday, I rolled back to my comfortable sleeping position, I knew it was only eight, I set my alarm early to slowly wake me up, to shower, dress and eat before Lincoln turned up. I knew that Lincoln would only jump out of bed at ten, shower, grab a pop tart and drive the two miles to my place to pick me up. Lincoln loved his part time job at the docks, and used the money to get himself a car. I was sure of one thing, after High school, Lincoln wasn't going to be going to college, and most of the time I had a church camp, was talking to Veronica about my dream of being a Doctor.

"Lillian, are you awake, you have your chores to do." Abigail called through the door as I grunted, I'd been home one day, and I was already being bossed about. "Lillian, are you awake…?"

I pushed the covered off me, I couldn't help but grunt more, "I am awake, I have plans today, and I can do my stuff tomorrow!" I called kicking the covers off me getting out of the bed opening the door. "I spent two weeks of my life, running after, and cleaning after snotty ten year olds…" I added looking down to Abigail who snorted at me.

"Well it will teach you not to get drunk." She pointed her finger up at me, I rolled my eyes. "Also I know you're meeting that Burrows boy, so I'd remind you, curfew is at ten, you have church tomorrow…" she walked away, leaving me standing in my doorway. I didn't hate Abigail, it was just she was more strict than Sally, but then Sally just had one rule, no drugs in the house.

I finished the shower walking back into my bedroom; I'd placed out an outfit to wear, being black jeans, a Nirvana band shirt, and my arm cuffs. "Lillian, Veronica is here to see you." Abigail called up the stairs, and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm getting dressed!" I yelled down, but could already here foot steps coming up the stairs, and I quickly found my underwear getting dressed before opening the door for Veronica to come in.

"Lily, hey I know it's early, just I was going to my job, and I thought I'd drop these off for you." She said handing me a folder that was thick; I played it over my hands looking confused.

"My mom sent off for information on Northwestern, it's got one of the best pre med courses, plus I thought you'd be an idiot not to apply…" Veronica said before I could glance at the application.

I didn't know what to say as I walked to my desk placing it next to the many other college applications, I now played with my still damp hair.

"I don't know, I'm just…" I sat down on my window seat as Veronica sat on my desk chair watching my face closely.

"Lily, I know you love Linc, but you can't throw away a good opportunity out of fear of losing him, if he really loves you that much, he'd be happy about this…" her voice soft as I played with my hair more.

"I still don't know, I mean, I'm not even sure with my police record I'd be about to get into a college…" I now glanced to the time; maybe I did have enough time to work my chores.

Veronica now snapped her fingers in front of my face snapping my attention to her. "Have you know, I have been looking into having your record expunged." She said while I glance at her. "Look, I've been doing some reading in the library and some research, so I will help you get a case together, just keep your grades up, partying down, and also volunteer every place you can do some charity work, give you a better profile, and prove you've changed." Veronica added while getting to her feet brushing her skirt down, and I stood up as well.

"Cool…" I added while glancing over the college applications, and then back to Veronica, in this moment it was weird being friends with the girl, well a few months ago hated my guts for stealing her boyfriend.

"Right so, I'll see you at school on Monday, remember, I'd love you to help on the year book committee…" she smiled as I crinkled my nose.

"Veronica, I'm turning myself around, but not that much, thanks but no thanks…" I added while she laughed walking out my bedroom closing the door, I turn around going to my vanity table to get made up for the day. I wasn't sure this whole plan would work, but it was better than nothing.

* * *

I'd finished cleaning the kitchen as the front door bell rung, Abigail had gone to work, but it didn't stop her having the next door neighbour cheeking up on me every ten minutes as I dragged myself to the front door, but smiled seeing Lincoln standing with a bouquet of flowers. "Why you look lovely today." Lincoln said passing me the flowers as I opened the door, I blushed lightly taking them off him.

"Abigail isn't here…" I laughed pulling his face to mine kissing him quickly before he brushed a hand through my hair kissing back. "Still have neighbours watching though…" I added breaking the kiss looking to the flowers, "But I love these." I added walking towards the kitchen as Lincoln shut the front door behind him.

"Well I'd not seen you for two weeks, I missed you…" he whispered running his hands over my stomach, I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck as he kissed it slowly, I was standing by the sink filling a vase up with water trying to focus on that, and not getting pulled into the feeling.

"I've missed you too, I've also…" I gasped feeling his hand move down the front of my jeans as cold water fell over the top of the vase onto my hand. "Cold…" I jumped back letting the vase go; it made a loud thud as it feel to its side, my eyes going to Lincoln's. "Sorry, just you know the rule!" I placed my hands in the sink picking up the vase placing it on the side before going to the flowers.

"Lil, no one is here but you and me, why you so freaked?" he asked while I got a pair of scissors cutting the stems of the flowers.

I kept focused on what I was doing before biting my lip, "Cos, she's got spies everywhere, plus I really don't want her like freaking grounding me before school starts." I placed the flowers in the vase before turning to see him staring at me. "I told you, I need to change my attitude around…" I placed a hand to his face before watching him glance away. "Linc…" I added while I wrapped my arms around him hugging him lightly.

Lincoln placed his arms around me before kissing the top of my forehead; I felt his heart beat slow and steady as he titled my chin to look into his eyes. "Lil, you know me, plus, I've planned a fun day for today, I've been saving up my pay, got lots to do, so come on…" he smiled that smile I couldn't resist placing my hand to his cheek kissing him softly.

"Cool, you stay here; I'll go get my purse from my room…" I added before rushing off, I hated the no boys, no exception rule, but I grabbed my bag from my desk looking over the many college names before rushing back downstairs. "Ok I'm ready." I added while he glanced over me before kissing my nose.

* * *

I looked out the window of the Honda prelude, I'd picked the colour, but then that was Lincoln's idea. He drove keeping his eyes on the road, but one hand on the wheel, the other hand rubbing my thigh slowly; I smiled softly keeping my attention of the houses we drove past before glancing over to him.

"So what is the plan today?" I asked while watching his face focus on his driving, and I played my hand into my hair. His hand let go of my thigh before brushing it over my cheek.

Lincoln made a quick glance to me, before he focused back on the road with both hands on the wheel now, I could see the smile on his face. "Lil, It's a surprise…" he said with a grin, his eyes lighting up, but kept on the road before pulling into the parking lot to the local park.

When he's stopped the car I took off my seatbelt reaching for the handle to get out, but Lincoln tapped my arm, his eyes still bright as he kissed my cheek making me stop, he got out the car, got something from the trunk before opening my door for me, and I now could see the picnic basket in his hand. "Oh nice surprise…" I took his open hand getting out of the car before feeling him kiss me slowly.

He placed the basket down before brushing a hand over my face, "you trust me?" he asked softly while I nodded. He now held up a blind fold, and I swallowed hard, "you still trust me?" he asked while I nodded again, he placed the blind fold on my carefully I could feel him trying to not tie my hair into it.

"Are you doing this to take funny pictures of me?" I asked while I felt him place his hand on my back, I could sense I was close to his body as he started us walking, I kept my eyes closed behind the material of the blind fold.

Lincoln chuckled before I could feel him moving me forward, he was careful as we walked, "No, but I want this to be a surprise so, shh…" he whispered while we kept walking, I could feel him rubbing his hand on my back, his soft muttering to himself, but most of all my heart pounding hard in my chest.

We walk what seemed like five minutes before Lincoln stopped me, his lips brushed over mine quickly as I felt him slip away, "I'm still here, just kept still, and keep the blindfold on…" he whispered softly, I did as he told me, but felt weird stand still, I could feel a soft breeze blowing through my hair, and the smell of the lake close by.

"Lincoln, what are you doing?" I asked while trying to hold in my giggled, it was taking too long, and I was an impatient girl. I felt Lincoln's body close to mine as his finger worked carefully on undoing the blindfold, I blinked my eyes a few times adjusting to the light, and then gasped seeing the picnic placed out on the grass next to the lake. There was food, drink, even a cake as I laughed holding my hand over my mouth. Lincoln brushed his hand through my hair kissing me again, but this time more passionately as I ran my hands up his back kissing back with as much enthusiasm as I could.

"This is just, wow." I whispered after the kiss stopped, my eyes focused into Lincoln's as he brushed my hair out of my face, his eyes looked down to mine before brushing my hair from out of my face.

"Well I wanted to do something nice for you, I knew you not into big a fancy, so I kept it simple…" he replied while I glanced to the blanket, the picnic seemed amazing.

I sat down on the blanket before Lincoln did, he slowly sat beside me before hading me a cup, and his eyes kept focus on a bottle, as I slowly raised my eyebrow. "Lily, its OJ…" he laughed pouring some into the cup I handed me. I nodded laughing again. "You know, I really worry about you." He added while he poured himself out some, and then passed a sandwich to me, I glanced over it, and nodded.

I leaned back lightly placing my OJ on the blanket, my eyes studying him over before shrugging. "You've got nothing to worry about, I mean nothing is wrong." I added while he moved on the blanket sitting closer to me, his hand brushed over mine gently before looking into my eyes.

"No, no, Nothings wrong, I'm just thinking it's not too long before you're off to college and all…" he replied while taking a bite out of a sandwich, I placed mine down watching his eyes, I didn't know why I didn't see it before.

"Linc, I haven't even applied to them yet, and don't even think I can get into one, so for now, don't think about the future, can we just enjoy now…?" I asked leaning forward brushing my hand over his cheek pressing my lips to his, kissing him gentle before pulling away.

Lincoln nodded, his hand brushed against my arm before passing me the sandwich again. "Just enjoy the now, sounds good enough for me." He added taking another bite of his sandwich watching me eat my own.

* * *

"Hey little dude!" I said getting on the hospital bed, Michael was sitting with a book in his hands, and he glanced from me to Lincoln before placing the book down.

Michael was administrated into hospital from a series of bad nose bleeds, and Sally wanted to make sure everything was ok; I on the other hand was just worried about him. "How was camp?" he asked before I bundled him in a hug, my arms wrapped around him hugging not too tight. "Lily, I'm gonna take that as you missed me…" he laughed while I pulled away.

"You need to stop scaring me!" I added while Michael turned to Lincoln giving him a strict look. "Hey don't be mad at him, I dragged it out of him…" I added before glancing back to Lincoln.

Michael folded his arms before nodding, "Well don't get too worried, I'm fine, Doctor's said I am going to be let out in a few days, well I asked if I couldn't miss School, but I have to wait and see…" Michael added as I laughed.

"Typical bro, you have a chance of missing school, and it's the end of the world…" he laughed while I turned around lightly slapping his arm. "Hey, I was joking!" he added before kissing my forehead.

"Nice, I think I might be sick." Michael watching as Lincoln wrapped his arms around me; I rolled my eyes before poking his head mole, his eyes narrowed. "Sorry, just still getting used to the mass of PDA…"

"Not like we're gonna have sex in front of you…" Lincoln joked as my eyes snapped on his. "Church camp made you lose your sense of humour?"

I raised my eyebrow before nodding, "Yes Linc, I mean that is what happens at Church camp, they take our humour, and also they convert us into being robots…" I added while playing with his hands.

Lincoln froze for a moment before Michael laughed, "She's joking Linc…" Lincoln glanced back down to me before I nodded.

"Well I am here for another twenty minutes, but then I have to get home, curfew and all…" I added while Lincoln sighed, "Seriously I have church in the morning…" I added while looking up to Lincoln his eyes staring deeply into mine. "You can always come with me…" I added.

"I think I'll pass, but we kinda have to go now, I have a job to do for Frank…" Lincoln spoke quickly while I swallowed hard, Lincoln knew how I felt about his off the book work for Frank, but in the end I didn't want another fight with Lincoln.

"Oh, ok." I said softly while quickly kissing Michael's cheek, he brushed a hand down my arm, "Look after yourself." I added while turning around walking out the door, I walk a head of Lincoln, but when we got to the car he spun me around to face him.

"Lily, why are you being like this now, after everything being good today…" his words fast as I folded my arms across my chest, my eyes kept focused on a freckle on my arm. "Lil, don't go avoiding on me…" he added pulling my face to look at his.

"I am not really going to discuss this now, so can you just drop me off home, please." I go to open the passenger door feeling Lincoln pull me around again.

His eyes looked angry; I didn't like it when this would happen, "Lillian, I am going to be doing a small favour, it's not big deal, I wouldn't of told you if I'd known you make such a big deal out of it!" he snapped while I kept staring.

"A big deal, I am not making a big deal out of anything!" I now took a deep breath, "I am just a little annoyed that, you are still doing." I watched his face; he was staring intense at me. "Ok, you know what, I'll walk home…" I stormed away from the car, but didn't get far before feeling Lincoln's hand gripping around my arm.

"No, Lil, for once can you not walk away when we are having an argument." He said while I turned to face him, I didn't like fighting with him as much he didn't like doing homework.

I pulled my arm away from his grip before keeping still, "I walk away, cos it's easy for me not to say something I will regret later." I hissed before his hands grabbed both my arms, his eyes locked on mine.

"Then just say it, cos I am sick of all these things you don't say!" Lincoln's voice shook me up as I moved closer to him, his eyes kept dead on mine as I grabbed his face kissing him rough, his hands rolled down my back kissing me in return, his body pressing mine against the car, I could feel all of him on me, before I knew it I couldn't breath from kissing so much I pulled away.

"How long you got before you gotta do that favour?" I asked looking to the back seat of the car; Lincoln thought for a second before I jumped into the passenger seat, he went around the driver's side getting us back to his place in the speed limit.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

_Christ forgive me_

One thing I really hated, well not hate, but it was boring as hell, oh shit I shouldn't say hell in a church, I shouldn't really say shit either, oh fuck it! Well Sunday's for the last three months has been me, coming to church with Abigail, it was one of her many rules. One of them, being me getting to be a lot more personal with God, and accepting Jesus into my heart as my personal saviour. I don't have anything against Christianity, but I am more of a relaxed Christian. I don't like getting up at six o'clock in the morning, to spend four to five hours sitting in a place where all I listen to, mostly the same old thing repeated again and again and again until my brain feels like it's dying a painful death. "Lillian… Pay attention!" Abigail barked at me as I let out my third yawn in a row, I glanced around the church trying to ignore the sleepy feeling. "If you came home a reasonable time, and slept. You won't be so tired right now, and disrespecting God!" she slapped a bible onto my lap as I snapped my eyes to hers.

"Disrespecting God… I was two minutes late of curfew, I told you we were stuck in traffic, and I can't help it if…"

"No if. You disrespect God…" she added while looking forward listening to the priest as I now glanced to the bible on my lap, and now look around the church.

"I will lead the blind by a road they do not know, by paths they have not known I will guide them, I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I will do, I will not forsake them." His voice echoed around the Church, I listen to the priest speak before running my hands over the cover of the bible. "Let us prey…" he added while Abigail nudged me with her foot, as a silent command to stand up.

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. For ever and ever. Amen…" I said along with everyone else, sitting back down I side glanced to the same boy that would stare at me after every time I'm here, he was some fourteen year old Puerto Rico boy, that spent most of the service checking me out.

The rest of the service went as they always went, I walked to the hall after, that is where most the people of this church had tea and coffee, cheap cakes and talked about the faith, me on the other hand crept into the graveyard outside the church to light up a smoke before sitting down on the gravestone of one, Brian Humphrey.

"You know, that is disrespecting the dead…" a boys voice snapped my attention as I now waved my hand, I didn't look back to the voice. "I said you be disrespecting the dead, more to the point my grandfather, you feel me white girl!" I snapped my head turning around to look at the boy who looked about sixteen, and I held my hands up.

"Sorry, just needed a place to smoke, no 'disrespect' intended ok…" I got to my feet before the guy held a hand out to help me.

The guy looked me over before giving a small nod, "So, you're Abigail's foster daughter." He said while I took another pull on the smoke.

"That a question, or a statement…?" I asked before moving close to the wall sitting on it before flicking my ash over the other side.

"Well, just you've been coming here for the past three months, and it's just you never seem to want to socialise, so Abbie, she sent me…" his voice cool, it was confident as I took more off the smoke before flicking it away.

Getting off the wall, I now walked up the boy, my eyes focused on his brown, I didn't want to be rude, "I'm Lily, I'm not here to make friends, it's just something Abbie makes me do, so yeah…" I now started to walk towards the exit, my eyes glancing back to him.

"Well my names Benjamin…" he waved, I nodded leaving the church graveyard to now walk back to the hall, and I really needed a strong coffee.

* * *

"That was a lovely service, wasn't it Lillian?" Abigail was smiling as she drove us home, I kept staring out the window, "and I was thinking, as it's the last day of your summer vacation, we should go shopping." Her face was gleaming, like every Sunday after church.

"Sure…" I replied lightly, I closed my eyes before placing my head against the headrest, and wish for everything that today would just be slow as possible.

"Hey, you know what; we can even go to the Olive Garden." Abigail nudged me with her elbow as my eyes slowly opened. "Lillian, you ok?" she asked as I yawned again, "I really think I should move your Curfew to nine for when you're back at school." She added while I glanced over to her.

"Olive Garden sounds great, school curfew nine, right now I just want to not think about anything." I said as my eyes closed again, but this time, Abigail didn't nudge me, but started to sing church hymns as I kept my eyes closed.

"It's that Burrows boy isn't it…?" She asked while I kept my face forward, I wasn't sure what she was getting at, but it was always the same.

The drive was silent for a while as Abigail kept singing, I glanced as the streets started to turn into shops, and the roads got busier. "It's not Lincoln, Abbie; it's just my last year of High school, after this, college…." I brushed my hair behind my ears before taking a deep breath, seeing that Abigail was parking in the mall parking lot. "I'm just having ace of time…" I took my seatbelt of before going to get out of the car.

Abigail got out the car before touching my hair that I wore down after church, she played with the tips before exhaling, "You need a hair cut as well today!" she started her quick pace walking towards the discount stores first, like always, but it wasn't too bad having a day out of chores.

Walking down the sidewalk I felt somewhat better than I did before my hair cut, maybe Abigail was right about some things, like my hair style bangs with long straight hair down my back, Abigail also get a trim making her hair a lot more firry red, I smiled, "So Olive Garden?" I asked while looking to the back to school clothes, not quiet finished as tonight I would be giving them my final touches, but it felt weird spending a whole day with Abigail, it was a good day.

Abigail smiled, for once it was a nice smile as she looked across the street, "Isn't that your Burrows boy?" she asked pointing to the other side of the street, I'd quickly glanced over to him, he was exchanging money with someone, but I didn't know what he was doing before staring back to Abigail.

"Yeah…" I said simply before starting to walk forward, I wasn't the type of girlfriend that would see her boyfriend and rush over to him. "It's cool, his picking me up for school tomorrow." I added while we headed in the direction of the Olive Garden as I glanced back over my shoulder to see Lincoln taking something of the man he was talking to, he didn't see me, and I then looked forward feeling a slight sinking sensation in my stomach.

* * *

The rest o the day went by slow, but I sat at my desk with my sewing machine, I was modifying a shirt with a tank top, I glanced out the window to the pre evening sky, my hair pulled up in a messy bun as I looked back to my work, I'd phoned Lincoln, but no one was home, I left one message, but spent most of the time at home staring at the phone. "Lillian, that Burrows boy is here to see you!" Abigail called from the bottom of the stairs as I got up brushing my hands down my shirt straightening myself out before rushing to my bedroom door, I rushed down the stairs two at a time before stopping in front of Lincoln.

"Hey…" I said as casual as I could manage, his eyes looking down into mine as he placed his hand on my arm, Abigail on the other hand still standing staring at us both, "Wanna come into the garden, and talk…" I added while taking his hand walking him through the hall to the kitchen where the back door was.

I stood looking up to Lincoln as he wrapped his arms around me, I could only rest my head against his chest as he gave me a light squeeze, "I just wanted to see you…" Lincoln whispered as I kept still against his chest, but soon I lifted my heads to look into his eyes.

My smile grew as I see he was smiling at me, "See me?" I asked while he tilted my chin to kiss me lightly, my eyes closed lightly, my hands run up his back.

"Can't a guy want to see his girl?" he replied brushing a hand over my cheek as I rolled my eyes touching his hand, it was weird, but then I could smell the booze on him, and the weed, but then I side glanced to the window seeing Abigail watching us.

I shook my head lightly before using all I could to keep the smile on my face, "No, no it's cool…" I said while his hand brushed over my cheek again looking to my bangs.

His eyes studied over mine before kissing my nose, "I love the new hair." He whispered before listening to me giggle, "I mean it, I think it looks good on you." He added while I looked up to him through my lashes.

His skin was warm as he brushed his fingers into mine, my eyes locked onto his while I see that Abigail had given up the spying act, "I have bed soon, Abbie wants me to have a full breakfast before school tomorrow." I rolled my eyes before feeling his hand touching my face again, "What time are you picking me up tomorrow?" I asked while watching him studying me.

Lincoln kept silent for a moment, it was starting to unnerve me as he kept brushing his hands over my face, "eight, yeah that is a good time right?" he said lightly, I nodded.

"Just don't be late, cos then I might have to punish you…" I giggled while feeling his hands running down my back holding my butt tight, he pulled me closer to his body, my heart starting to hammer against my chest.

Lincoln's eyes going wide while I could feel every part of him on me, my eyes never left his, "Makes me want to be bad now…" he purred while pulling my hair out, just so he could run his fingers into it, "You know you're the one good thing in my life, I love you Lil…" he said while I tried not to laugh. "Lily, are you laughing at me?" he asked when he stepped away from me, I bit my lip watching him carefully shaking my head.

"No, no, it's just, you're drunk." I finally said while brushing my hands down his leather jacket, his hands touched my face, his eyes wide, "I'm not made, but just Abbie is gonna give so much crap about it." I quickly added as Lincoln turned to the door, his eyes watched it before staring back at me.

"Well you can run away, we can, together…" he voice smooth as he run his fingers into my hair again.

I lightly pushed him back, not enough to upset him, but to get his attention, "Linc we have one more year of high school, plus Michael, think of Michael…" I whispered while his fingertips played down my arms.

Lincoln pursed, "He got outta hospital today, doctor gave him the all clear, so Frank took me and Sally out…" his words soft as I smiled, "I wanted to invite you, but, well you was out all day." His words kind as I nodded, his hand brushed my cheek one more time.

"I'd love you to stay, but I have a lot to do, plus well, I'll see you all of tomorrow…" I added while brushing my hand through his soft brown hair, his lips brushed on mine one more time.

Lincoln's kisses always made my heart pound as he broke away, but pecked one more kiss on my nose, "I miss sleeping next to you…" he whispered lightly into my hair, I took a deep breath inhaling his smell.

"Abbie is a heavy sleeper," I glanced up again, his eyes meeting mine, "just be quiet and I'll leave the back door unlocked, come in at midnight, she be long asleep…" I added quickly, "ok."

Lincoln's eyes lit up like Christmas, he nodded, "Ok, I'll see you then…" he whispered as we now walked back into the house, I smiled opening the front door kissing him lightly watching him walk away, he turned around waving before I closed the door.

"I smell drink on him, he's a bad boy!" Abigail pointed out as I rested on the front door, I stared passed her.

"Abbie, his brother got out of Hospital, he went out to celebrate, anyway, look at the time, and I better get ready for bed…" I walked away trying to keep the smile from my face.

* * *

I laid in bed glancing out the window, my bedroom light was off, but I kept glancing over to my alarm clock, the time was eleven fifty eight. I'd slept in Lincoln's shirt, I rolled over before listening to the squeak of the fifth step, and a long purse as I stifled a giggle, but the bedroom door opening lightly, I first see his hand holding the door before his head poked in as I giggled more. "Thank God I got the right room!" Lincoln whispered as I pulled the covered over my mouth and nose, his face only lit by the moon light through my window.

"Shh, don't want to wake up the dragon…" I got out the covered walking over to him, his eyes looking down my exposed legs.

Lincoln's hands running up my arms, his eyes hungrily on mine, "I love your room, plus did I ever mention how sexy you look in my T shirt?" he voice smooth, but I could feel his hands moving to the bottom of the T shirt, my heart pounding harder.

I step forward closer to him, "No, but then again…" I played with the buttons on his shirt with one finger on his lips, "You know the rule, silent…" I whispered while getting more of his buttons undone.

"I know the rules…" he whispered to me, his fingers gentle on my skin, I couldn't help but shiver, "I can't promise you'll be able to keep quiet…" he added while he brushed my hair behind my ear, "But I'll be quiet." He whispered directly into my ear lifting the T shirt off quickly.

"Lincoln…" I tried to keep my voice low, I could feel his lips working down my neck, kissing across my collarbone slowly, his fingers running carefully down my back. Lincoln made every kiss slow and lingering making my breath heavier.

Lincoln knew every part of me, and I knew every part of him. His eyes looked up to me, he smiled watching me carefully as his hand moved over my nipple lightly squeezing it between his thumb and forefinger making me gasp lightly, "Shh Lil…" he moved his mouth kissing around my breast working around towards my nipple making it harder for me to keep quiet.

If I bit my lip any harder it would surely bleed, but Lincoln kept kissing down my body to the point of my falling onto my bed, Lincoln taking this chance to lay me down, more kissing down my stomach, I picked up a stuffed animal placing it in my mouth, I bit down hard trying to stop myself making any noise. His hands ran up my thighs as his lips kissed around my hip bone even more delicate, I couldn't help push the stuff animal over my face harder, it was getting to be too much. "Lil, you ok?" Lincoln asked lying beside me on the bed, my eyes finding his, moving to saddle on his lap, I kissed him intensely.

* * *

The next morning I'd woke up before my alarm, it was five thirty when I grasped the space beside me, but it was empty. I opened my eyes slowly after feeling something on the pillow. I quickly sat up seeing the origami crane; it was folded with my purple stationary paper. I played it over with my fingertips before seeing Lincoln's handwriting, he said. 'Didn't want to wake a sleeping Angel, thought I'd leave this instead, love you, and will see you in a few hours, love Linc.'

Smiling bright I rolled back over turning my alarm off to get out of bed quickly I pulled my dressing gown on to get ready for School, I felt like my feet didn't even touch the ground smiling brighter thinking of Lincoln.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I've not touched this story in such a long time, I feel so bad, so I hope that who ever had alerted this, is happy with this chapter, I am going to hope and finished this story, as well as I can...  
For more, please comment ;]

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**Chapter three**

_First day back…_

I'd showered quickly, but spent most the time trying to make my hair look good, it was my first day of my last year at High School. A part of me happy it was over, but I didn't know what I'd be expecting.

I knew that this year I had to start new, I was told that if I smartened my act up, got into some after school activities I could boast my GPA to a B, so right now I just wanted to be able to apply to college with a chance of acceptance.

Finally putting on the last touch of lipstick I glanced over the reflection in the mirror, I had to do a double take before I noticed I was staring at myself. I didn't look real, I mean I looked real; it just didn't look like me.

Pulling the brush through my dry hair, I picked up an Alice band placing it carefully in my hair. "Lillian, are you up?" Abigail called from downstairs. I knew it was about breakfast, I quickly picked up my jacket looking to the time, and it was getting to seven.

"Yeah, I'll be down in a second." I moved from the vanity table, quickly glancing over my reflection, I was wearing the outfit I made, a pleated black skirt, with a baby blue long sleeved shirt, I'd sown a waistcoat to it that was light purple. I reached down putting on my ballet flats, glancing over the knee length socks to match the waistcoat.

I picked up a blazer, my over the shoulder to use for my books. Looking back into the mirror I felt weird, "Lillian, Breakfast is getting cold!" Abigail shouted louder.

"I'm coming!" my voice hoarse as I'd now placed my purse and other things into my bag, leaving my bedroom behind me.

Walking into the kitchen I could see breakfast set up, "See, awake, dressed and ready." I spun around placing my school stuff by the door.

"You look lovely," Abigail smiled, she glanced up from her oatmeal, and I now sat down looking to my pancakes, bacons, eggs and sausages with French toast. "A nice wholesome meal, to start your day." Her was voice too cheerful.

Part of me didn't want to pick up the knife and fork, I kept looking from the food to Abigail, "Thanks," I sighed while staring at the clock, it was going to be a while before Lincoln would be here to pick me up. I cut into the food, kept my watch on the time as I ate.

"Lillian, you're such a lovely girl, I don't understand why you don't date other boys," Abigail's voice stopped me from putting the food into my mouth, I kept frozen before lowering the fork away from my mouth, my eyes studying her.

"I'm in love with Lincoln, I don't want to date other boys." My voice was calm.

Abigail nodded, but I could see her eyes, she picked up a spoonful of oatmeal eating it slowly. It was like she didn't have a response for me, but I could see it in her eyes, "I was just suggesting, because you'll want to when you're off at college…"

The strong need to roll my eyes come over so powerful, I just had to focus on my food, and I lost all my appetite when it came to talking about going off to college. The thought of having to go and leave Lincoln behind, even if it wasn't forever still hurt me whenever it crossed my mind. "I'm happy with Lincoln, so can you just understand, I am not going to break up with him before college!" I slammed my fork now with such force the table shook, but my eyes kept on Abigail's. I'd never felt this temper in a long while getting to my feet. "I'm not hungry, I'll be home late." Shifting my weight I got up from the table.

"Don't be too late," was all she could reply to me, I knew that I couldn't stay here, not with the way I was feeling now picking up my bag and jacket, I knew it wouldn't take me that long to walk to Lincoln's place.

I stood on the front porch of the house; I brushed my hands down my sides before knocking on the door lightly. I knew that not many people would be up, but was happy when Michael opened the door poking his head out. "Hey Lil, what brings you here?" his voice seemed pleasant as he stepped aside to let me into the house.

I walked quickly into the house before exhaling, I glanced to the wall clock that told me it was seven forty five, "Long story, just Abby being a pain," I replied as I made my way to Lincoln's bedroom.

Trying to open the door without making too much noise, I peeked my head into the room first. My face breaking into a light smile, I could see him spread out on his bed, deep in sleep.

Making my way into the room, I didn't want to disturb him, I kick my shoes off before carefully crawling on the bed next to him, and I placed my head on the pillow. It felt strange watching him sleep, but he looked peaceful in sleep, it was the only time when he wasn't thinking of everything. Slowly I leaned in kissing his forehead gently, he crinkled his nose lightly, but didn't open his eyes. Now I relaxed in the bed, I closed my eyes before feeling a hand on my face softly, "Hey, this is a surprise." Lincoln whispered softly as I opened my eyes again.

"Morning," I smiled, Lincoln wrapped his arms around me, he pulled me close to his bare chest, I could smell him, I closed my eyes feeling safe, I didn't ever want to lose this feeling I got with him.

Lincoln kissed my forehead, squeezing me against him, "But seriously, what brings you here, I thought I was picking you up?" he questioned me, but I didn't want to open my eyes.

I kept closed eyes, I didn't know what to say, but swallowing hard I opened my eyes to look up to his face. "Abigail, she keeps going on about me dating more," I felt sick even repeating what she said to me, and I had to watch the pain in Lincoln's eyes.

He moved lightly, but didn't let me go, "Do you ever think about, you know, dating someone else while in College?" he asked slowly, I couldn't believe he was even saying it.

I moved out of his arms, sitting up I kept staring at him, "Do you want me to date other guys?" I snapped feeling sick.

"No, I don't, I want to know if you do?" he sat up, his arms tighten around his chest, but I couldn't believe we was having this conversation. I wished I just kept quiet about it; I didn't want my day to go the way it was.

I now moved off the bed putting my shoes back on, "No Lincoln, no, I don't want to date other guys." Standing up I turned to face him, my hand on my hip. "Seriously, of all the people, I didn't expect you to think I would just drop you like a hat, cos hell I'll be in college why would I hold onto a high school romance?"

Lincoln kept on the bed, his eyes darkened, I felt my heart dropping into my stomach, "Sorry, I didn't know I was just a high school romance to you, maybe you need something better than a dead beat with no possible future!" his voice was a snarl, my eyes avoided his, I couldn't believe this was happening.

I threw my hands in the air, "Lincoln, seriously, I didn't mean that, but you're blowing this well out of proportion." My breathing getting deep, I couldn't scream, but I held my hands tight across my chest, my eyes scanned over his face, "I want to be with you, and you make out that I don't care about you."

"Lily, why do you even bother with me?" his voice dropped, his eyes started to look sad.

I sighed moving quickly to the bed sitting beside him again, "Linc, I love you, I don't want to be without you." My voice soft, my hand touching his, "please don't ever ask me that again, ok, I love you." My eyes focused on his.

"Lily, I don't know what I'd do without you," he whispered brushing his hand into my hair, his eyes on mine so strong I could feel each pulse of my heart. "I love you too…" slowly he moved in touching my face, his lips meet mine, kissing me carefully. I closed my eyes hoping this would be the end of that, I didn't want him thinking I was going to leave him, I couldn't dream of not being with him.

Pulling away, my hand brushed over his face, he kept watching me closely, I knew that he cared, I knew the thought of me being away scared him as much as it scared me, "Are we going to not do this anymore?" I asked while preying he would feel better about our relationship.

Lincoln nodded, "I don't know why Abigail keeps putting these things in your head." He spoke rough, his hand still brushing into my hair keeping his focus on me.

I smiled, my hand touching his thigh lightly, "She doesn't understand, but I will never care what she thinks of me," I now kissed his cheek, "I've got you, I'm happy enough to say I'd spend my forever with you."

Lincoln now broke into a smile, "Then, I can agree, also I need a shower before we leave," he got off the bed, and I watched him pick up some clothes heading for the bathroom leaving me alone.

The drive to high school wasn't as bad as I thought; Lincoln and me dropped Michael off at middle school. "You going to be going to class?" I asked while he fiddled with the radio until a station was playing a song he liked.

"Come on Lil, I'm not going to be perfect," he laughed while I rolled my eyes, "Don't do that." He added while I now laughed.

I adjusted my seat, my eyes kept forward, "Linc, if you manage to get a D, that is a good enough passing grade." I now leaned forward turning the stereo down.

"Lil, seriously, shh…" he reached down turning the stereo up again, "Lil, you need to chill out," he added. One hand on the wheel, he used the other arm closer to me to tap my thigh.

Part of me wanted to say something, but as he smiled humming along to the song, I couldn't take him out of the good mood he was in now. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I made him upset this time. "Well think about it Linc, just think…" I felt the smile on my face; it was taking all my strength to keep it there, partly knowing that I just wished he'd think of himself than just a dead end person.

"I'll keep it in mind," He smiled, I could still feel his hand lightly on my thigh before moving it back to the wheel, he kept that smile all the way to school. No of us said anything until the car park, it was pulling into the normal parking space, it was the same building, but I wasn't the same girl.

"Damn," Ben Frankston said, his hair normally slicked back, wasn't gelled, he'd let it go shaggy around his face. I'd not seen Ben Frankston or Mark Hummel, it was weird to the see the two guys me and Lincoln would get high with.

I watched Ben open the car door for me, I took my seatbelt off looking to Mark's open hand, I felt like slapping it away, but for the moment I wanted to forget the hell of a summer I had, I missed my friends taking his hand stepping out the car. "So, two months, no call no write, I feel neglected Lil," Mark joked as he pulled me into his strong arms.

"Dude, remember. My girl!" Lincoln's voice boomed, it was enough to make Mark let me go, leaving me feeling light headed. I glanced over the car to see Lincoln was pointing with a smile on his face, and Ben was crouched over laughing. "Come on, man, I'm not that guy…" Lincoln added.

"Well sorry, but we've not seen Lily all summer, I mean, for all we know she was going to the good side of the force." Ben's voice smooth.

"Star wars?" I asked looking from Mark to Ben, the thing was, no one knew with these two guys, they did everything together, but it was a mystery if they were into guys, dating each other, or just well, weird.

Mark took out a pen from his jacket pocket, "The force is strong within her, she'd be a ally to the sith course…" his voice deep, her waved it looking over my hair and outfit, "Ok, something is missing…" he kept looking over me, I rolled my eyes reaching into the car taking out my school back.

"I know, it's a big disturbance in the force," Ben added while looking me over himself. I was under the microscope, not seeing them all summer long, the one thing I wish to not have to go through.

Veronica parking her car caught everyone off guard, "Lillian, remember debate club, it's meeting at lunch in the room forty G," she smiled getting out her car to walk over to her group of friends.

Ben and Mark seemed to have the face, the face that made it clear what was wrong. "Alien invasion!" They spoke as one pointing to me.

"Oh come on guys really," I pulled my bag over my shoulder, my eyes going to my watch, it was hard to really feel like I felt before everything that happened the end of last term, I wanted a new life, I wanted to have a reason now. "I'm the same girl, just a more reasonable one."

"Linc, it's going to be a sad story, we feel for you man," Mark patted Lincoln's back. Lincoln bowed his head, he nodded, it was playing along with the guys, "don't worry, we're here for you."

"Hello, I'm," I shook my head starting to head to class. "I have to get to class, try it, you learn so much." I didn't look back, it was tradition to skip the first class, I just knew I couldn't do that anymore, I wanted to be something, I wanted to be able get into college, so I could get into medical school.

Walking out of room forty G I felt my hands playing into my blazer pockets. "Well, debate isn't for everybody, I mean I can help you find an activity you can get into." Veronica always wanted to help. It wasn't the fact that over four months ago I stole her boyfriend, it was history, but I kept feeling everything was wrong.

"V, it's nice and all, but I'm just not that good at anything," I then waved my hand in the air, "Oh wait, flunking out and getting high, they should have a weed club, I'll be so good at that." I felt my eyes roll at my own pitifulness.

Veronica stopped us, she stared me down, and I felt my stomach twist. "Lillian, seriously, you know how much like Lincoln you sound, you are good at something, everyone is." Her hands let go of my arms as I glared to her. "I mean is, what do you like doing?" she asked, the paused, "Apart from getting high."

"Well, I sow, I can make a mean chocolate cake, and I sometimes dance in my underwear." I then laughed, "I mean, dance…"

It was like a light bulb went off in Veronica's head, "Cheerleading!" she then broke into a grin, "you can try out, that is like a big thing on college applications," she then hugged onto me, her arms wrapping around me, it made me feel uneasy.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, back the truck, I can't be a cheerleader, because if you haven't forgotten, I've gotten into a fight with most of them, and I slept with the, captain's boyfriend, last year." I played with a piece of my hair.

Veronica looked blank for a moment, "You really was a," she shook it off, "Well in luck the captain was kicked off the team for being caught in a, well not very respectable position, with three of the other cheerleaders, and the old football couch, so they have open auditions."

"Fine, I'll try out, but you mention this to anyone, I mean anyone!" I pointed into her face, "I will so, well I don't know, but it will be bad," now looking to my watch, my eyes going back to Veronica's, "I'll call you tonight, and you can help me figure out what to do," I now walked away.

I kept thinking about it, first the change of make up, clothes, hair and now I was trying out for cheerleader. I opened my locker door looking into the mirror, I felt a sigh escape, "This is going to be such a long year." My hand reached in taking a book out before closing my locker, I walked passed the bulletin board, taking in a deep breath, I found my pen writing my name to the cheerleading sign up sheet, walking away as fast as I could make myself move.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I do not own Taylor Swift lyrics that I used in Lily's speech to Lincoln. Also yes, I am a Tylor Swift fan, what, what you gotta say!  
Lol I'm just jossin ya. But yeah, I am incredibly thankful to my itunes for predicted what songs I'll need to listen to, as Love hurts, Tell me why, No air and many more.  
A bigger thank you to kitty, who well, makes me remember how much I love writing about Lincoln Burrows, and always knows how to make me feel inspired to write what I write, to my own style, baby you are my muse 3  
Much love, and next chapter will be less dramatic...

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**Chapter four**

_You what!_

"Cheerleading!" Lincoln repeated for the fifteenth time, he was driving us away from the school, he kept looking to the road, and we needed to pick up Michael from middle school. "Cheerleading!" it was like every time he'd say it, he was trying to convince himself he was hearing it right.

I'd taken off my blazer placing it on the back seat with my bag, inhaling and exhaling. "Linc, I need the extra credit, plus I nearly punched out Paula Figgins, I can't do debate…" I pulled my feet up onto the seat looking to the side of Lincoln's face. "Cheerleading isn't all that bad, I'll get a cute uniform." I then pointed, "and don't say you don't like them, I've seen you check the girls on the squad out!"

Lincoln glanced over to me quickly, "I, ok, but debate is for geeks, and Cheerleading is for girls who give a crap about their future." He kept looking forward; he didn't see my face falling.

My arms pulled my knees closer to my chest as I felt my stomach sink again, "I care about my future Lincoln," I whispered feeling sicker by the second that past by, he stopped the car. I could feel the engine stop, but I didn't want to look at Lincoln, but felt his hand touching my chin.

"Lil, I didn't mean," he exhaled loudly while trying to get my eyes to meet his, I felt horrible, "I just don't see you liking the cheerleading squad, plus the fact everyone knows you slept with the captain's boyfriend…" he added while it seemed to be his attempted at cheering me up, it wasn't going to work.

"She's be expelled for fucking the football coach," I muttered before moving my face away from his hand, my eyes finally meeting his. "And I want to be a doctor," I felt my words hit him; he sat back for a moment looking confused. I knew that it was the look that didn't understand.

"When did, A doctor, you never told me," he sounded as confused as he looked, I couldn't believe it as I wanted to get out the car, ever if I loved him. I felt like he never listened to me.

Brushing my hands under my eyes, I was careful not to brush off my make up, looking into his eyes, my face trying so hard not to yell. "I told you all summer, I said before summer!" I held a hand out, "I can't believe you…" now both hands held out feeling my chest tighten with the anger I was holding in.

Lincoln's hand gripped onto the steering wheel, I knew he was trying to hold in anger, his face on the other hand was like reading a children's novel, "You didn't tell me, you said you thought it'll be funny," he now glared to me, "you didn't say you wanted to be, you said it'll be a funny idea," he then threw his door open getting out.

I felt the door slam shut as he stormed around to the back of the car, I didn't even understand how this was happening. I could of got out the car, but I kept sitting in the front seat, I didn't want to look back. It was the sound of Lincoln kicking the curb, I didn't look, but it was trying to stop myself from saying anything to make him even angrier, I wasn't even sure why he was angry.

Slowly hearing his grunting stop, I placed my hand on the handle; I'd taken my seat belt off. I felt scared opening the door getting out with hesitation. "Linc," I could see him sitting on the curb with his hands over his face. It was like my heart sinking deeper into my chest, I kept a distance from him.

"Lily, you said it as a joke, I didn't take it serious," I could still hear the hint of his temper, I wanted to be able say something, but I kept standing by the car. "I mean I am going to be that loser, that stays here, forever." He pointed up at me, "you're going places, and you say you want to stay with me, when you'll go to be a doctor," he got to his feet getting closer to me, "Doctor's don't date small town losers like me!" he kept his eyes on me making my eyes start to well up.

I didn't want him to see me cry, "No, maybe they don't," I kept my face; I wasn't going to let him see what his words are doing to me. "I just thought you'd be happy for me, and not a selfish douche bag you are being now!" I reached into the back seat taking my things out. "You don't want to be late picking Michael up, I'll walk home from here," I felt my words were empty, I walked away, well it was more of a fast pace run, I didn't want to look back, he didn't even try to get me to come back. It was the hardest thing to not look back, and finally let the tears roll down my cheek as his car drove passed me, not even slowing down.

When I got to the front door, I placed my hand into my pocket, to top to my bad day, I couldn't find my key, I reached into the porch light taking the spare one opening the front door. I slammed the door after placing the spare key on the side; I could feel the wall vibrate with my anger, halfway from the car to the house, my tears had changed to rage. How dare he be angry with me, I wasn't going to take it. I didn't want to see his face, but it hurt more when I knew that I'd want to feel him put his arms around me. I didn't want his apology.

It was then I'd noticed the house was empty, Abigail was at work, and so I had the house to myself. I rested my back against the wall falling down into a heap on the floor, my head resting in my knees, I started to bawl my eyes out, I couldn't stop it, the pain spread all over my feeling like my world was crashing down.

All of this was because I wanted something; it was harder to plan a future for myself when all Lincoln could do is hate it. I couldn't understand how he wanted to keep me back. Did he think that little of me, think I'd go away to college, and find someone else. No, I didn't want anyone in my life but Lincoln, but I couldn't live with someone who was being so angry.

Getting to my feet, I could see the mess of my face in the hallway mirror, my hair fluffed up as I quickly brushed my hands down it trying to tame the mess. Part of me couldn't really think of anything. I just wished I could stop feeling anything for anything as I finally moved out of the hall.

It took me an hour to finally get some feeling back into my stomach. It felt weird to know that I wasn't going to go talk to him, he would be too stubborn to say anything to me, was I still in a relationship with him, I couldn't think of that, every time I did, the pain would come back to my chest making it harder to breathe. I'd managed to get to my bed, I'd curled into a ball keeping my eyes closed, I knew I couldn't lay here forever, it was just easier to be here, to pretend that nothing happened.

The front door open, then shut calmly, Abigail was home from work, and so if I didn't want a string of unwanted questions, I needed to clean my face up. I moved off the bed before moving over to the bathroom filling the sink up with water trying to clean as much off my face before Abigail would ask questions.

My face dripping wet I opened my eyes looking into my mirror feeling like I couldn't see who I was from the reflection. I grabbing a towel drying off my cheeks, I couldn't think of what I was doing, everything was on autopilot.

Placing the towel back down on the side, I froze when I walked back into my bedroom seeing Lincoln standing by my bed, his face was pale, I couldn't understand if I finally snapped? Was he really standing in my bedroom looking guilty as hell? "Cheerleading," he spoke softly while I stood there looking like a fish out of water.

"How did you get in?" I asked trying to keep myself calm, I knew that my heart was pulling at me to run into his arms, break down again and never fight again. My head on the other hand was in full control, it was telling me to not give him what he needed to feel.

Lincoln waved my front door key placing it down on my bed, but he kept watching me, I knew him too well, in his eyes he wanted to do what my heart wanted to do, but his head was telling him to be careful, it was right to be careful. "I found them in my car, I thought you'd need them," he said simply.

I then looked from the keys to him, "Thanks," I didn't have much else I wanted to talk about, it was the feeling of my insides pulling apart, my hands moved into my pockets trying to ignore the fact were was standing still, he wasn't leaving, I wasn't going to tell him to.

"Cheerleading," he finally repeated, it seemed like he wanted to start this conversation, and I kept my eyes focused on his. "I guess I'll be coming to football matches and stuff," he added brushing a hand into his hair; he looked awkward moving from one foot to the other.

I moved my hands from my pocket trying to keep it together, "not really," I never heard my voice sounding so blank, and my eyes glanced away from him to the window.

Lincoln cleared his thought, "but cheerleading," I could tell from his voice that he was trying, he really didn't like that we were doing this.

"I know Lincoln, you've said it more times than I can count," my voice spiked, he cringed, it hit him where it hurt, I wasn't meant to do that. "I mean, you come here, all pout face, and knowing you were wrong," I pointed, I was feeling the anger from before coming back, but he was taking it. He knew he was wrong, but I wanted him to feel how I felt. "I am sick and tired of your attitude," I raise my hands feeling the pain, but I needed to finish, "I'm feeling like I don't know you," my hands going into my hair.

Lincoln moved from where he was pausing in front of me, I look into his eyes. "You tell me that you love, then you tear me down" my eyes glassing over, "I need you like a heart beat, but you know you've got a mean streak," my eyes meeting his, a tear falling down my cheek, "it makes me run for cover when you're like this," my hand brushed under my eyes, "and here's to you and your tempter, I'll always remember what you said," my eyes kept focused on, "and I know that you see what you're doing to me, tell me why?" I sniffed back more tears, "why do you have to put down my dreams so you're the only thing on my mind?"

He kept still in front on me, for the first time he knew what he'd done, he couldn't speak, he just stared at my face as I tried to control my tears, stop myself from losing all control of myself. Lincoln just brushed a hand against my cheek, I couldn't find the strength to fight it, and he tilted my face to watch his. "I," he started, it was hard for him to speak, "I know sorry isn't going to change anything," he brushed a tear away with his thumb; I could tell it was taking everything for him not to break down himself. "I just am so scared, I know you don't know it now, but when the school years over, you will get into a good college, you'll go places, and I know I'll never be able to keep up with you." He bit his lip, I could feel his hand tremble again my skin, "Lily, you'll want more, more than I can give, and we will fight, we'll fight so much, till the point you'll never forgive me." He kept his voice soft, his hand brushed from my cheek to my hair.

"So you're breaking up with me now," I said feeling my bottom lip want to quiver, but I wouldn't let it, I wasn't going to give up here, "Screw you," I stepped back from him. I could see the look on his face, I pointed to him, my eyes flashing over with rage again, "Screw you, and you're stupid idea of my future. Screw you and the fact I don't even know if I'll make squad, or college, god, I don't even know if I'm going to pass my finals," I felt my chest tighten, his face falling, "but you wanting to give up everything, in an presumptuous I'll give up on you." My hands waved above my head feeling like I was getting it, "That is for me to decide, not you, I am the one who gets to decide, and I love you," I felt my words calm down, "I want to be with you, even if you make it fucking hard!" my eyes lightly looked over his face.

Lincoln didn't move, I found I'd really put myself out there, he kept shifting his eyes from me, to the door, I wished for everything to know what was going through his mind; I needed to know what he was thinking. "Cheerleading," he finally whispered, as I stood there opened mouthed. "I want you to be happy," he looked into my eyes, "I,"

I moved across the small gap between us, wrapping my arms around him, holding myself close to him, "you do make my happy, when you're not being a totally douche bad," I mumbled against his chest, my eyes closed feeling him wrap his arms around my back holding me close to him. "So I don't want to fight, not now, not ever, I love you, you dummy head!" I sniffed my nose trying to stop the tears from falling more than they already was.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Originally I was going to have the whole Cheerleading try outs in this chapter, but then I am going to make it into another chapter as I want so much to happen, well I thought I'd post this, and then the rest tomorrow...  
Have fun, and don't forever to review ;]

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**Chapter five**

_Hey Ho, lets Go!_

Friday afternoon, it was the fact I was sitting on the bleachers in the gymnasium on my own. The girls were gossiping about me being there. "I heard It's part of her probation," one girl whispered, it was hard for me not to hear as they only sat seven foot away from me. "I heard she's trying out as a joke," the smallest of the girls didn't bother to lower her voice, her eyes locked onto mine to show how much she didn't like me here.

I had to try my hardest not to move swiftly across the seven feet and beat that smirk of that girls face, but I needed to keep myself calm. I knew that this was going to be simple, I had to try my hardest to not feel weird in my gym shorts and green vest top, my sneakers were not in the best condition.

"Ok girls, I'm Gina, the new captain," she glanced around the group of girls, there was about fifty of us all in the gym, and I knew that only six will make the team, I didn't have high hopes on making the team, but Veronica spent most of the week helping me figure out how to make this work for me. Hey if this didn't work I always had band, no, I wasn't going to snoop that low. "This is going to be the first step, we will be taking out the girls who've not got a clue how to dance, to the girls who know how to move." Her eyes narrowed on mine. I had a feeling that she believed the rumours of my being here. I ignored that feeling breaking over me; I wasn't going to back out now.

Gina now moved back to the crowd, "so if you make it past part one, you'll be asked to come back to the weekend seminar." She placed both her hands on her hips with a smirk.

I could hear some girls letting out grunts, I glanced around knowing that most the girls had plans for a big party this Saturday, but I didn't care. "Well, if you don't think you want squad, you know where the door is," Gina bobbed her head to one side; her long bright blonde hair was tied up in a high ponytail. The girls shut up, so Gina could looked over to girls that were left on the team after the football couch scandal.

I sat, not only with the sinking feeling, as I had to watch girl after girl audition, even the odd girl who rushed off to be sick. I couldn't understand how anyone could be that nervous, or maybe it was just me. I could see that after girls finished they left to the gym, I didn't even know how I was going to know if I made it or not. I just kept thinking that I had to make it, most the time watching girls look too perky for their own good.

"Lillian Carlin," Gina called, and the feeling of too many eyes all on me at once, I got up walking down to where I'd need to do my thing, I wasn't even sure how I was going to make this, but then if I didn't make it, I just needed to find another activity to do for extra credit. "This is going to be simple, we play music, you dance, if you make the cut, you'll find your name on the bulletin board after school." Gina kept her smirk, I knew that she was hoping I make a fool of myself, she leaned forward pressing play on a boom box.

Inhaling, Rick James started to fill the Gym, I couldn't believe I was getting this song, but I kept focused. Super freak wasn't one of my favourite songs, but I started to dance, it was strange that I danced a lot of the time, but first time I'd danced in front of people and not been under the influence of drugs or drink.

The song cut off as I kept still, my eyes looking to the girls all sitting at the table, it was like they was shocked into silence, even girls in the bleachers seemed to give the gym an eerie feeling. "Ok, you can go now…" Gina's voice was soft, it was like she was eating her words, feeling the fact she couldn't insult me.

I kept staring at the clock on the wall of my English class; it was hard to focus on any work as every single second took a minute to go by. I could feel Lincoln's foot playing with mine under the table; it was hard for me to focus on him. The fact I'd only told Lincoln that this audition was going to be part one of what ever it was going to be. Part of me still didn't have any clue what I was going to do if I get through to what can only be expected as a weekend from hell.

The bell finally rung us into the weekend, many students picking up their bags excited to rush out of the class, Lincoln on the other hand waited for me, I couldn't move from the chair scared to have to see that bulletin board. I didn't know what to expect as Lincoln held a hand out to him. "Come on, the worst that can happen is your name isn't there," he seemed so sweet moving in close kissing my forehead. "Come on," he whispered as I finally got up from my chair picking up my bag.

"Right, but you are looking for me," I pulled my jacket on, it was going to be a long while before me and Lincoln could get anywhere near the board.

I felt Lincoln's hand holding onto mine tightly, girls walking away from the board smiling, some crying their eyes as they ran. I kept looking up to Lincoln's face, "If I cry, please hit me," I stated while seeing the crowd fade down.

Lincoln let my hand go, "Go on, you got to see if I'm going to be seeing you this weekend," he kissed my cheek as I finally stepped forward towards the board, my hands for the first time were trembling, it was one of them moments when I didn't know to be nervous or not, I didn't expect to be standing in front of the board with my mouth wide open.

There on the third row second name down, Lillian Carlin, I was going to spend my weekend with a bunch of girls who were, scared of me, or just flat out hated me. "I made it," I whispered, I felt my hands touching the place where my name was, "I fucking made it!" I felt Lincoln wrap his arms around my waist as he spun me around, girls jumping out the way to stop my feet hitting them. Some ever glaring, as it was the fact I made it, they didn't.

"My girls going to be a cheerleader!" Lincoln cheered as he kept spinning me; I felt the giggles escaping me while he carried on spinning me.

Placing me down, I smiled feeling Lincoln's arm around my shoulders, it was going to be weird, I had t get Abigail's permission to go away for the weekend, if I didn't have the parental/guardian form, she would of thought me and Lincoln were going to have a weekend in a motel doing all unholy things.

"So, I can drop you off, then pick my cheerleader girl up," Lincoln purred while making our way to the parking out, I felt my cheeks still glowing from the feeling out of over fifty girls, I was a part of the final twenty five, the fact I'd not even image getting this far, part of me still in another world. "Lil…" I could see Lincoln's hand waving in front of my eyes.

"Sorry, it will be nice, and don't assume I'm in, that was just the elimination part, making sure girls that can dance get through," I explained seeing Ben and Mark standing by Lincoln's car holding a banner that read. Congratulations, _can you get us laid now? _I rolled my eyes turning my attention to Lincoln, "did you know they were going to do this?" I asked feeling my smile was starting to hurt my face.

Lincoln laughed, "No, I had no clue," he glanced back to the guys who were still looking pleased with themselves. "Guys, she's not going to be at the party, you do know that!" he called to them, it made my eyes snap to his face, he knew he said something out loud that he wasn't meant to.

"Party, you said you're not going," I stood by the driver's side of the car, I kept my eyes on him trying to make him honest, he kept avoiding my eye contact. "I was going to tell you, I just didn't want you feeling like you was missing out…" he tried to sound sincere.

"Missing out, I'm going to be spending a weekend with girls who hate me Lincoln." I said while placing my hands to my temples, "Hate me!" I waved my hands forward, "so yeah, you are so going to not get any for a week," I pointed into his face walking to the back passenger door, and I could hear Mark laughing.

"Dude, you going to have one sore right hand," Ben said, but I could hear Lincoln's fist punch into Ben, but I knew it wasn't going to leave any damage, and Ben make a hoof noise as he keeled over holding his stomach.

"Dick move…" Mark said while laughing at Ben's face, "Don't mind giving us a lift?" he asked Lincoln a sat on the back seat looking out the window.

I could see Lincoln now brushing his hand over the roof of the car, licking his bottom lip, I found myself wanting to just feel them lips on me, but shaking the idea away when his eyes met mine. "Yeah, I gotta pick my kid brother up first," he opened the driver's side door, taking a quick look at me in the back seat, "so I'm not getting any for a week?" he asked leaning in the little gap separating the back from the front seats. I could see the bad boy glint in his eyes making it hard to resist him.

Feeling myself move off the seat, my body leaned into the gap holding my hands to his face, kissing him hard, I could feel his stubble brushing harsh against my face as I kept holding the kiss as long as I could letting him go, I could now see a goofy expression on his face. "Don't say it!" I pointed trying to catch my breath.

"You can't resist me," he purred sitting straight.

The drive to school the next morning was quiet, I couldn't stop yawning knowing that it was an unnatural hour for me and Lincoln to be awake, but I felt better that it was going to be Lincoln dropping me off, even if Abigail wanted me to call her as soon as I could. I felt she didn't' believe I really tried out for cheerleading. I glanced over to Lincoln as he kept what little focused he had on the room, my eyes looking to the clock on the dashboard, it was six o'clock in the morning, I stretched out again yawning. I'd pulled my hair up into a ponytail wearing my favourite jeans with a Kiss T shirt. "Stop yawning it's…" Lincoln said while breaking into a yawn himself.

"Contagious," I said while he yawned, it was weird feeling like I was really doing this, the high school getting into view, the bus waiting to take me away to the place we'd be spending the weekend, I had a bad feeling, but I was trying to improve my reputation, as well as getting on top of all my school work. "I'm having serious doubt," Lincoln was pulling into the car park; I kept my eyes on Lincoln's face as he stopped the engine.

He turned to look at me, his hand touching my cheek, he leaned in kissing him softly, my heart fluttered as I leaned in kissing him back, my hand moving on his thigh to hold myself steady as we pulled apart, Lincoln placed one more soft kiss on my forehead. "You know you can do this," he whispered while smiling, "and if you don't make it, I'll take you for ice cream," he nodded tapping my knee.

"Thank you," I leaned over to kiss him one more time, I knew that I needed to get this over with, it was going to be weird spending this weekend away, even if I spent most of my summer away from Lincoln, I had the feeling I was never going to be used to be away from him.

Getting out of the car I shut the door, I could hear Lincoln getting out, he'd opened the back passenger side getting my bag out, the door slammed as I made my way to Lincoln, his arm wrapped around me kissing the top of my head. "I'm going to miss you," he whispered softly, the skin on the back of my neck stood up as I glanced up to his face.

"I'll miss you too," I could see other girls making their way to the bus, I wrapped my arms around Lincoln giving him one more hug, I looked into his deep green eyes, my hand brushed over his cheek, "Don't get too stoned without me."

He laughed feeling his warm breath on my face I finally took my bag off him, "I'll try and save it for when you get back," he kissed me one more time.

I didn't want to leave Lincoln behind, but as I got to the bus passing my permission slip, I could see everyone else was here, and as I found a seat in the back, I felt the engine of the bus start up, moving. I could see Lincoln wave me off, and this was the weekend, it was going to be such a long weekend.


End file.
